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Tuesday (Day 17)

7873466_f260Difficult night with a lot of burning and itching sensations inside ear. Lots of pain on side of head, along my jaw and even into my teeth! Awoke this morning to find the front of my ear next to my jaw (tragus area) swollen up. Feverish. Other ear also feeling sore. So I rang the Dr who has decided this might be bacterial after all and has given me a course of antibiotics. Typically I am allergic to the best one for this condition but at this point I’m grateful for anything. Now taking Amoxycillin 3 times a day.

No changes to the dizziness levels today either. I do have head and jaw pain. I am really hoping that these tablets finally knock this on the head.

In good news – the ringing in my ear finally stopped. I had to listen really hard to double check but it does seem to have gone away. Not sure if it’s temporary but it’s nice for as long as it lasts. It makes me feel a little more positive that I will eventually recover.

Wednesday (Day 18)

Back down in the doldrums today although I slept really well for the first time since all of this started, actually got up at a reasonable hour this morning and did not need a power nap to get through the day. The dizziness actually seems a little worse today which is a real downer and I did wake up with a lot of ear pain though it seemed to go off once I got up and walked around so perhaps the being horizontal in bed had delayed any drainage overnight. Outer ear remains swollen. I’ve also discovered that inner ear infections are painless, yet despite complaining of pain since the get-go I’ve repeatedly been told this is inner ear and a virus because of the dizziness aspect. Maybe I have a concomitant new infection, who knows?

On Day 2 of Amoxycillin.

The negativity is starting to really creep in no matter how positive I try to be.

I’ve reached the 18th day of an illness that I am constantly being told “should be better within 3 weeks” and I feel like recovery has just stopped and am starting to doubt that I will ever get better at this point. I am very down and tearful. I am amazed at how isolated and lonely I feel. I don’t live alone but obviously people have to get on with their own stuff so it feels like I never see or speak to anyone. I am only interacting with other adults via social media which is less than ideal. And a large part of me actually thinks other people are better off staying away from me as I am so boring (can’t really do anything so nothing to talk about) and miserable.

Still, tomorrow…as they say…is another day.